"Your grass is as green as you perceive it to be" Emilee Kern

"The grass is always greener" is a phrase you will hear time and time again. It refers to wanting what you don't have and thinking it would be better to have something opposite. I am guilty of wishing, wondering, what ifs and maybes.

Currently I live in Switzerland, I am recently married and working towards my dream profession. I am truly living the dream I created on my vision board over a year ago. I am happy and know I am where I am meant to be but when I have a hard day or a weak moment I tend to find myself wondering what would have happened if I had never left Janesville, Wisconsin.

When I decided to move from Wisconsin, my life was finally getting to where I wanted it to be. I had gone through a self transformation, recovering from years of abusive relationships I started to find my power and discover who I really was. I was in the best physical shape of my life, I was going a be a personal trainer and teach fitness classes, host educational dinner parties, I had the best of friends and I was really the happiest I had ever been. I have no idea where all of that would have taken me, but quite possibly I would have never left Janesville. I would be surrounded by the comfort of familiarity and certainty, but instead I took the road not traveled.

Right when I had it all at the tips of my fingers and I can still taste the sweetness of getting everything I wanted, I moved across the globe. I felt out of my body most of the moving process, I felt like something was pulling me there and I was just going with it. I had no idea what was going to happen but I wanted the same things I was about to have in Wisconsin to happen in Hawaii. I wanted to teach fitness classes and meet like minded people. Maybe it's that the Universe had an entirely different plan for me. I did meet like minded people and I did continue working with the food but what I got was far more than I could of expected. I got my soul torn wide open and exposed for who I truly am.  I never knew this part of myself, or connected to who I really was until I adventured by myself for two years.

Maybe those things I thought I wanted were just the tip of all that I am going to have in the end. My goal still remains the same of having a little healing hut wellness center. I know I could have achieved this if I had stayed in Wisconsin and I know that I will still achieve it, but it is because I chose to travel that I will have more wisdom, love, and spirituality to go inside of it.

I do not regret any of my choices and I know the what ifs, if I had stayed would out number the what ifs that I have now. I need travel and adventure, change and uncertainty. At the same time I miss my family and friends, my dog, and the life that I used to have. This is all changed now there is no going back to the life that I once had. I know that once I get a little further towards my dreams and establish myself a bit more it will continue to get easier. Right now while I am trying fit in another country and learn the language, it's easy to long for the comfort of home and the easiness of what could have been.
 
The time I spend thinking of my past makes me forget just for a moment how far that I have come, all that I have learned and the experiences and wisdom I have gained. I have done many things people only wish that they would do in their life time and for that I am grateful. It is constant work to live in the present and accept everything for what it is. Being happy in the now and knowing I am on the right path is something that takes practice but I understand the importance. Your grass is as green as you perceive it be. 


"The path less traveled will become smooth after your journey,  for your adventure will lead others." Emilee Kern